Birthday Reminiscing

Holy Cow! How does half a century blow by in such a seemingly short time? If you haven’t guessed, I turned 50 today. I can remember thinking that 50 was so old when I was a teenager. As I’ve gotten closer to it, 50 had seemed younger and younger. My earliest memories are from when we lived in Sayre, PA, while my dad did his medical residency. We lived in a complex with other families of medical residents. I can remember my sister doing little hand puppet shows from the top bunk of our bed. I also remember my mom pouring boiling water down a rat hole in our backyard. My earliest birthday memory was at the farm in Borie, where my grandparents and many aunts, uncles, and cousins lived. My cousins and siblings made me the peanut queen and hauled me around in a wagon full of peanuts. I remember crying a lot. We moved to Coudersport and lived at the farm for a time the year I turned 7, so we celebrated my birthday there again. Aunt Judy, who lived across the yard, gathered my siblings and cousins for a project at her house. She must have left someone for me to play with, because I don’t remember feeling left out. After a while, my cousin Sandra came to Grandma’s house, and told me I should come and see the strange bug they had caught. When I got to Aunt Judy’s house, there was a surprise party, complete with a bug cake they had all decorated for me. We soon moved from the farm to a house my parents bought on West Hill Street, and I started school at Coudersport Elementary during the second grade. Many of my current friends, I met all the way back there in second grade. About this time, we started attending the CMA church. I became very close to the Thomas family (Jim, Marlene, Jimbo, Traci, and, later, Candice). The following summer, we had a special speaker for Vacation Bible School. One evening he presented the Plan of Salvation, and he asked if anyone wanted to come forward to ask Jesus to be their savior. Traci took me by the hand and asked me if I wanted to go, so we went together. I don’t think I probably understood it all, but I knew something in me had changed. I have some funny remembrances from the rest of Elementary School, like accidentally spelling D-A-M with four letters (if you know what I mean) in fourth grade. In fifth grade, Traci and I couldn’t stop laughing when Ms. Castano read a story about “Jimbo the Elephant” or when Mike Russell pulled his tooth during a spelling test and yelled “I got it!” In sixth grade, my teacher was Mrs. Brown (later Mrs. Baker). I can remember her wearing woven, squeaky clogs and using pink baby lotion on her hands. What I remember most is that she always read “Where the Red Fern Grows” to her sixth grade class, which probably started a little spark for my love of literature. Sometimes, her daughter Beth would have off school in Port Allegany and would visit her mom’s classroom. One time, she and I accidentally knocked over a display of pantyhose in Hamelins 5 and 10 cent store, because we were laughing at the huge bras hanging on the wall. I don’t remember too much that’s remarkable about Junior High. We were still attending the CMA church. Many of my friends and I were active in youth group. I didn’t always follow God the way I should have, but I always still knew that I was His. There are several funny things that I remember from Senior High. One time, several of us were playing cards in study hall. Mr. Jolly told us we weren’t allowed. The next time, we were pretending to play with invisible cards, and he threatened to give us detention. Then there was the time that my favorite teacher, Mr. Fleckenstein, made me write a 1,000 word essay on the dangers of shooting rubber bands. My friend Emily had shot me. When I tried to retaliate, she moved, and the rubber band hit the blackboard where Mr. Fleckenstein and Mr. Gagat were talking. When 12th grade was winding down, our youth group was planning to attend a National CMA Youth Conference. I hadn’t planned to go, but I had participated in all of the fundraisers. One day in church, I felt God speak to me, telling me to go to the conference. My response was, “If that’s You, God, please have someone tell me I can go, even though it’s past the deadline.” As soon as I walked out of the sanctuary, Jim Thomas told me I could still go. I guess I couldn’t argue with that. At the Youth Conference, I rededicated my life to the Lord. I decided to go to a Christian college instead of the State University I had planned to attend. I grew much in my faith in my two years at Nyack, and I’ve never turned back, though I am still far from perfect. In 1992, I married Sean, my high school sweetheart. We had baby Meredith in 1993, baby Tanner in 1995, baby Ethan in 1997, baby Troy in 1998, and baby Evan in 2003. I began homeschooling two months before Troy was born. I enjoyed homeschooling, even though it was never easy. Meredith and Tanner graduated at home, Ethan, Troy, and Evan have done a mixture of homeschooling and attending CHS. Meredith was married in 2014, and we now have a beautiful granddaughter. We’ve had many ups and downs, especially in the last 6 years, since my cancer diagnosis, but we know that God is good, and we can trust him in all circumstances. It’s fun to reflect, and I can share many more stories, but the most important thing for me is to recognize that God has always been faithful.

"Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good; His love endures forever." Psalm 118:1

I WILL Praise Him

Matthew‭ ‬6:10b‭ “‬your will be done,‭” ‬Job‭ ‬13:15a‭ “‬Though He slay me,‭ ‬yet will I‭ ‬hope in‭ ‬Him‭;‬”

Ever since I first heard the song‭ “‬So Will I‭”‬,‭ ‬I’ve been thinking about the word‭ “‬will.‭” ‬I feel like we don’t really ascribe as much weight to that word as we should.‭ ‬My thought is that we use it interchangeably with‭ “‬can‭” ‬or‭ “‬might‭” ‬when we should see it as something that refers to an act of our will,‭ ‬something we truly intend to do.‭ ‬I mean,‭ ‬what if the pastor said to the bride or groom at their wedding‭ “‬will you keep these vows‭?” ‬and the person responded with‭ “‬I can.‭” ‬I don’t think that would go over well with the potential spouse.‭ ‬Recently,‭ ‬a friend shared with me a story of a family that is going through many hardships,‭ ‬but have chosen to say‭ “‬We WILL praise God.‭” ‬First of all,‭ ‬the husband and father in this family has a progressive,‭ ‬debilitating disease that causes him to be unable to work.‭ ‬They are raising two small grandchildren.‭  ‬The wife has recently been diagnosed with an aggressive cancer.‭ ‬Her adult children have problems and recently,‭ ‬one of them passed away.‭ ‬My friend told me that the wife,‭ ‬especially,‭ ‬inspires her because she praises God so openly in church.‭ ‬She also said that she spoke at her child’s funeral,‭ ‬and she said‭ “‬I WILL praise God.‭” ‬This woman is making a conscious choice to praise God in the midst of suffering that has to be overwhelming.‭ ‬1‭ ‬Thessalonians‭ ‬5:16-18‭ ‬says‭ “‬16‭ ‬Rejoice always,‭ ‬17‭ ‬pray continually,‭ ‬18‭ ‬give thanks in all circumstances‭;‬ for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.‭” ‬We aren’t told to give thanks‭ ‬for everything,‭ ‬but we can thank God in all of our circumstances,‭ ‬because He promises to be with us in them.‭ ‬Isaiah‭ ‬43:2‭ ‬says‭ “‬When you pass through the waters,‭ ‬I will be with you‭;‬ and when you pass through the rivers, they will not sweep over you.‭ ‬When you walk through the fire,‭ ‬you will not be burned‭;‬ the flames will not set you ablaze.‭” ‬And in Isaiah‭ ‬41:10‭ ‬it says‭ “‬So do not fear, for I am with you‭;‬ do not be dismayed,‭ ‬for I am your God.‭ ‬I will strengthen you and help you‭;‬ I will uphold you with my righteous right hand.‭” ‬There are many other,‭ ‬similar promises in the Bible.‭ ‬As Christians,‭ ‬God has given us His Holy Spirit to guide and to comfort us.‭ ‬Our circumstances may be very difficult,‭ ‬but we can still make it our will to praise God because we know that he has a plan and a purpose,‭ ‬and He WILL sustain us in all circumstances if we trust Him.‭ ‬I’ve done a pretty good amount of complaining since I’ve been in bed.‭ ‬I’m trying to remember to thank and praise God instead.‭ ‬There is so much we CAN be thankful for.‭ ‬Like the woman,‭ ‬referenced above,‭ ‬let’s say‭ “‬I WILL praise Him.‭”

Words 2

I have to admit that I sometimes use "bad" words. It's a habit I picked up in high school, and is difficult to break. These words usually come out when I'm frustrated or in pain. To tell you the truth, though, I'm not sure that these are really the words that the Bible speaks against. When the Bible talks about swearing, it is referring to taking an oath. The Bible warns against this because breaking an oath is very serious to God. If we make promises, we are to keep them. James 5:12 says "Above all, brothers and sisters, do not swear-not by heaven or by earth. All you need is a simple "yes" or "no." Otherwise you will be condemned." The Bible also warns against gossip. Proverbs 26:20 says "Without wood, a fire goes out; without a gossip, a quarrel dies down." Gossip can be so damaging, but it tends to be something we fall into easily, maybe even making it look like concern for the person. Malice, slander, and other forms of relating to, or speaking to, one another in negative ways show immaturity on our part. 1 Peter 2:1-3 says "Therefore, rid yourselves of all malice and all deceit, hypocrisy, envy, and slander of every kind. 2 Like newborn babies, crave pure spiritual milk, so that by it you may grow up in your salvation, 3 now that you have tasted that the Lord is good." Many times, people hurt each other with their "joking", making fun of someones flaws, physical or otherwise, or being overly critical. As Christians, we do need to be able to correct one another, but we must make sure that our motives are pure, and we're doing it out of love. We tend to compare ourselves to others, and maybe, unconsciously, compete with them, when what we need to do is recognize our own shortcomings and allow God to work on us. We are called to build one another up, and not tear each other down. I think sometimes we talk simply because we are uncomfortable with silence, and sometimes, the more we talk, the more trouble we get into. Here are a couple of quotes that I like: "Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak and remove all doubt." and "A closed mouth gathers no foot." I've been reminded lately that our struggle is against the Devil, and not other people. We need to stand against him together, instead of fighting against each other. I picture us either standing shoulder to shoulder with our swords drawn against him, or facing each other with our swords drawn, and doing his job for him. Let's not fight and devour one another. We have a common enemy that already wants to do that. 1 Thessalonian 5:11 "Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing." Words can be used to hurt or heal. Let's choose them wisely.

Come and Hear the Vision

I'm so excited for this! If you've been reading my blog for a while, you know that I have a deep desire to help raise funds for a school in Haiti. My friend, Dr. Vilmer Paul, administers this school, which currently serves approximately 700 students in a church building, which is not adequate for the task. God has given Vilmer a huge vision to reach many more students. He has the opportunity to buy land and build a facility for many more students. A large sum of money has been raised, but much more is needed. Vilmer and his wife, Sarah, will be in Coudersport in early August. Vilmer will be speaking at the new Gods Country Ministries' (former Coudersport Free Methodist church) building at 1237 East 2nd Street on August 7th. I want to invite you all to hear his vision for yourselves. There will be a dinner provided at 5:30, with Vilmer to speak afterwards. We will need a ballpark figure for dinner, so if you'd like to attend, please let me know via email (erin.mckeone@gmail.com) or on the Facebook event page that will be up soon.

The Struggle to Choose Contentment and Joy

Philippians 4:11-13, "11 I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances. 12 I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty. I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want. 13 I can do all this through him who gives me strength."

James 1:2-4 has been brought to my mind several times lately. Here is what they say. "2 Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, 3 because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. 4 Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything." These verses are sometimes very hard to hear and, truthfully, at times make me a little angry. I know that sounds terrible, but the pain and uncertainty sometimes bring out the worst in me. In the last couple of weeks, I feel like God has been telling me that I need to be content in this circumstance. I'm starting to realize that first and foremost, contentment is not really a feeling, but a choice. As Paul states in the verses above (Philippians 4:11-13), he wasn't just able to be content in every circumstance, but it was through Christ and His strength that he was able to choose contentment. I'm learning that in the same way, joy is a choice. Because, sometimes, I feel anything but joy. When I feel that way, I have to remind myself (and others have to remind me) that God has a purpose and a plan that is much greater than I can imagine. Isaiah 55:8-9 says "8 For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways,” declares the Lord. 9 “As the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts." I keep praying for healing, but I am also recognizing that God is able to use me here. He has brought to my bedside people that I haven't seen in a while (in some cases, years), and we've been able to bless each other. I'm pretty sure that if the circumstances were different, these encounters would not have taken place. So pray with me, please, that I would choose contentment and joy by God's strength rather than lie here and wonder what the purpose is. You can also send me your prayer requests, since I have lots of time to pray.

Breathing His Name

Psalm 1:1-2 "Blessed is the one who does not walk in step with the wicked or stand in the way that sinners take or sit in the company of mockers, 2 but whose delight is in the law of the Lord, and who meditates on his law day and night." A while back, I was using a guided Christian meditation from YouTube. Please don't get hung up on guided meditation, as it was all Biblical, and we are told to meditate on God's Word. Sometimes, it helps to focus if someone is talking you through it. Anyway, the person speaking counseled the listener to focus and try to control their breathing. She said that our respirations actually sound like the original Hebrew name for God, YHWH (Jehovah). I haven't been able to do much research on this myself, but Tanner found an article that said "God’s name, YHWH, is comprised of aspirated consonants that, spoken, are the sound of breathing." (The Rabbit Room; "Is The Name Of God The Sound Of Our Breathing?") Since I have many fractured vertebrae, I've lost quite a bit of height in my torso. This has reduced my lung capacity, which makes me take more breaths per minute. I also often hyperventilate while I have to be on my side for wound care. A couple weeks ago, I started thinking again about the idea that each breath says God's name. I'm trying to be conscious of that, especially when I'm feeling anxious. Genesis 2:7 says "Then the Lord God formed a man from the dust of the ground and breathed into his nostrils the breath of life, and the man became a living being." Isn't it amazing to think that, when God gave life to the first man, He also put His name in the breath of all of us who would come after. I've read that the Israelites didn't intentionally pronounce this name for God, as they revered it so highly, knowing that they were not to take His name in vain. I'm not sure if they knew that their every breath was speaking his name. I hope this encourages you to sometimes just think about Him as you breathe.

Words

Please read this verse out loud. "Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith." Proverbs 15:17 Please tell me that the idea of the stalled ox caught you off guard for a second. A couple weeks ago, Tanner was typing the blog for me. I asked him to copy and paste Proverbs 17:17. However, he accidentally copied and pasted the above verse instead. When I asked him to read it to me, at first, the stalled ox registered in my brain like a stalled car. Words can be funny like that. Sometimes, when I hear the word "orthodox", I think of the two orthopedic surgeons Sean works with, haha! But seriously, we need to be careful with our words. Several times in the past weeks, I've heard the verse from Ephesians 5:19, which says "speaking to one another with psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit. Sing and make music from your heart to the Lord". I was thinking that we don't really do that, however, my friends and I send each other song links all the time, and many people have spoken scripture or sent it to me throughout this trial. Some visitors even sing to me. I have to admit, for the past couple of months, I've been discouraged, and my speech, at least to my family, has been rather negative. The Bible says that death and life are in the power of the tongue, and that out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks. I don't like to think that my heart is overflowing with negativity. For a time, I was asking God to take me home, as it didn't seem to me like he was going to heal me. I had a pretty big scare with some breathing problems a week ago, and I realized that I really don't want to go yet unless it truly is God's will for me. Don't get me wrong, I know that to depart and be with God is going to be glorious. But, as Tanner keeps reminding me, if God hasn't taken me yet, then I'm here for a reason. I'm trying to be much more positive in my thoughts and speech, and to truly trust God for the strength to endure. I've gotten back to listening to praise songs, which really helps. The Bible says much about speech and how we are to speak to one another. I think I'll save those verses for another blog entry. Suffice it to say, for now, that we need to do our best to build others up instead of tearing them down. With God's help, we can do it.