He is Faithful

Faithful readers and friends, I wanted to update you on my condition and what is going on in my journey at the moment. After the pain and weakness that began in October, I went into a downhill slide that now has had me in a hospital bed at home since January 2. I am dependent for nearly everything. Sean is my primary caregiver with help from Tanner and my parents. Right now Meredith and her 2 year old are here to help too. As I've said in the past, I have fought the cancer natually for over 5 years feeling well for a full 4 of them. Even when the pain started I had been doing very well. So I sit here and analyze and wonder if there was something I should have done differently. However, I continue to seek to be still before God knowing that His ways are infinitely greater than mine. I did finally relent and allow my dad to give me a steroid that has helped somewhat as I continue to seek alternatives. There is no doubt that we are not going to effect some simple cure. Any healing will be supernatural and only by God's hand. He is certainly able if that is His perfect plan for our family. If it is His plan to heal me by giving me my new glorious body sooner than I expected, then He will sustain us in that journey as well. I have much time on my hands in this bed. Some nights are sleepless which affords time for either worry/analysis or prayer. Fighting hard for the latter. I try to focus on God and His greatness. He spoke the Universe into being. He holds the power over winds and waves. I believe He hung the planets exactly where they need to be to sustain life on earth. He continually fights for His people, often just telling them to stand and see His salvation. So many verses speak of Him laying His hand upon us. How amazing to think that the God of the Universe is so involved with us if we allow Him to be. The Bible says He does all of this out of His great love for us. It is not something we have to earn, just to accept it as a gift. As great as all of this is, just think of eternity with Him someday. So that is a little of what is going on. Moments and sometimes days can be very difficult but I can attest to a peace that passes understanding that only comes from casting our cares on the One Who is able to sustain us.