Confession

James 5:16 "Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective." Psalm 32: 3 "When I kept silent, my bones wasted away through my groaning all day long. 4 For day and night your hand was heavy on me; my strength was sapped as in the heat of summer." James 3:1 "Not many of you should become teachers, my fellow believers, because you know that we who teach will be judged more strictly." The singing group, Casting Crowns, sings a song called Stained Glass Masquerade about our propensity as Christians to try and look perfect to each other. The Bible tells us to confess to one another and pray for each other. How often do we do that? I know that for me it was seldom. Or at least i didnt confess like i should have, asking someone to keep me accountable for changing. You see, I was often angry and bitter in my marriage. I thought it was Sean's job to make me happy instead of letting God fill me. It wasn't a full time thing by any means but it was an ugly cycle. There were times that I was teaching Bible Study and struggling with the anger when God's hand was heavy upon me like the verse above says above but I hid my sin and kept teaching. When I was first diagnosed with cancer, Sean and I changed and started to be more attentive and sselfless, but after a while of feeling better we kind of fell back into our old patterns. And quite literally, while I kept silent my bones were wasting away. I'm happy to report that since my relapse in 2017, the angry cycle has not been part of our marriage. There has been asking and granting of forgiveness. Lying in this bed, I've had lots of time to think about the ugliness of sin. I've had to repent and I've also realized how subtle Satan is at getting us to justify ourselves and blame others. Why do I share all of this? Because I know I'm not the only one. The Bible says we all struggle in many ways. The remedy for my pattern of anger should have been to have a mature believer to keep me accountable for change. We need to be transparent and stop hiding behind our masks of perfection. People need to see our struggles to know they're not alone in theirs. ( I'm going to add to this and not by way of excuse. I know now that I have had issues with estrogen dominance which caused awful mood swings. There are things like diet changes that help. In case others have this issue.)